Luxury Titanic facts

[Runaway]

Riff raff in Top Hats? Surely not.

Yes, interesting. I didn't know that. But then I drive a proper car.

[Sir William]

And both manufactured in the UK.

Unlike your "proper car" which was probably manufactured in Australia. Or even France.

[Runaway]

manufactured in neither. Like I said, it's a proper car.

[Sir William]

If the (much heralded) watertight doors had not been closed, the Titanic would have of remained afloat long enough for everybody to be rescued.

[Sir William]

Yes it's true, because it would have of remained level.

[Prizemaster]

Shouldn't this TOPIC about huge vessels with no steerage that crashed and sank, be in the Brexit Topic

[Runaway]

But at least the Titanic didn't have of politicians at the helm.

[Sir William]

I suspect it didn't have of anybody at the helm.

► Show Spoiler

Pity it wasn't full of politicians though.

[Sir William]

If the Titanic had set out from Southampton 1 minute more prematurely it wouldn't have of crashed, because they would have of had an extra minute to take evasive action.

[Runaway]

If it hadn't set out at all, it wouldn't have of crashed either.

[Sir William]

But then it wouldn't be famous.

[Runaway]

Neither am I, but I'm still here.

[Sir William]

You must have of set out 1 minute more prematurely then.

[Runaway]

I didn't want to be late.

[Sir William]

[Sir William]

If the Titanic had of set sail upside-down, it would never have of of hit the iceberg.

It would of have of sunk at Southampton, and most of the passengers would of had been rescued.

They never thought of that did they?

[Runaway]

Even better, if it had of have of set sail from Sydney it would have of of never ever have of of hit the iceberg, meaning all its passengers would have of of returned safely to Sydney to carry on their lives and the population of Australia would now be 298 million.

[Sir William]

Why would it have of of never had hit the iceberg?

[Runaway]

Because the iceberg was off the coast of the Falklands, which is at least four bus journeys away.

[Sir William]

Yes, but it would had still have of of gott*n there eventually.

[Runaway]

But not before every passenger and crew member died of ancient age.

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

These facts are of unchallengeable veracity and need to be recognised as such.

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

You won't discover it in a book. This knowledge is above scribes.