REMEMBER OUR MOTTO (please):
"Think No More Of Buying Buns" - Sir William Chairman

Warning about homosexuality

Send us all your sexual pleasures problems and questions. (We do have a resident doctor on board if you don't know what sex is or have never even heard of it) :yes:
Post Reply
Monsterbot
Slightly Silly
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2018 9:45 am

Warning about homosexuality

Post by Monsterbot » Mon Jul 02, 2018 11:03 am

While I am here I want to warn all men about Jesus and homosexuality. :wag:

Do not commit the wicked crime of homosexuality as it is a sin against the Lord and your penis must never be utilised for this rude purpose. :stop: :stop: :stop:

It is far better to push your penis into a lady's vagina than to push it into a man's arse. This is a message from Jesus's disciples :yes: The Lord manufactured sure that Men's arses were the dirtiest and most disgusting places imaginable, to prevent this sort of shameful behaviour. To defy the Lord in this direction is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. :thumbd: :mad: You will discover that after you have withdrawn your penis from the man's arse, it will stink to high heaven. :yuck: :puke:

Lady's vaginas are specially designed to massage and stimulate the penis, to provide the man with the most exciting and enjoyable orgasm known to man. Their shape, elasticity, texture, tightness and wetness provide the most prefect penile stimulation possible (apart from fellatio) resulting in a mind-blowing ejaculation. Ladies also have rounded and swollen breasts, which bounce about and provide the man with additional visual stimulation and opportunity for squeezing and fondling. This is a very important point to remember.

So I would urge all homosexuals to discover this new method of sexual gratification, as it is what Jesus would have wanted. After you have enjoyed sex with ladies in this direction, you will never want to have anything to do with men's arses ever once more. :clap: :clap: :bigthumbsup:

Homosexuality is just for beginners and losers who do not want to enter God's Holy Kingdom of Heaven. :wag:

If you do not believe these words I say, just ask the vicar. He will know all about homosexuality. :thumbu:

User avatar
Runaway
Publicity Executive & Recruitment Ambassador
Posts: 6099
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 12:01 am
Has told off: 274 times
Been told off: 302 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Mon Jul 02, 2018 2:36 pm

I'm glad it's the Chairman's turn for Moderation this week. Decision time, Sir W. :yes:

User avatar
Willy Nilly
Non-useful Smileymaster
Posts: 1016
Joined: Sun Jul 23, 2017 6:59 am
Has told off: 108 times
Been told off: 158 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Willy Nilly » Mon Jul 02, 2018 6:45 pm

What does Jeesus and the bibble say about pushing a penis up a woman’s arse? Is this acceptable in the eyes of god? Does god actually have eyes, and is a woman’s areshole any more cleaner than a man’s? :hscratch:
:tant:

Monsterbot
Slightly Silly
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Jun 27, 2018 9:45 am

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Monsterbot » Mon Jul 02, 2018 8:24 pm

Jesus says that it is ok to push your penis more elevated a woman's arse because that is not homosexuality. But women must not push their penises more elevated womans' arses, because that it homosexuality once more. :stop:

In contrast to men's filthy arses, women's arses are said to smell of roses and expensive perfumes. :clap:

User avatar
Runaway
Publicity Executive & Recruitment Ambassador
Posts: 6099
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 12:01 am
Has told off: 274 times
Been told off: 302 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:50 pm

Is this conversation appropriate for our learned and respectable forum? :cripes:

User avatar
Willy Nilly
Non-useful Smileymaster
Posts: 1016
Joined: Sun Jul 23, 2017 6:59 am
Has told off: 108 times
Been told off: 158 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Willy Nilly » Mon Jul 02, 2018 10:26 pm

Not for those with filthy arses :search:
► Show Spoiler
:tant:

User avatar
Sir William
Dearly Beloved Chairman
Posts: 6360
Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
Has told off: 469 times
Been told off: 258 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Tue Jul 03, 2018 12:12 am

Runaway wrote:
Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:50 pm
Is this conversation appropriate for our learned and respectable shed? :cripes:
The information appears to be of the most learned and accurate kind. :yes: :clap:
Sir William Chairman :tophat:

User avatar
Runaway
Publicity Executive & Recruitment Ambassador
Posts: 6099
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 12:01 am
Has told off: 274 times
Been told off: 302 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Tue Jul 03, 2018 8:20 am

:spam:

User avatar
Sir William
Dearly Beloved Chairman
Posts: 6360
Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
Has told off: 469 times
Been told off: 258 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Tue Jul 03, 2018 8:37 am

In fact it would very much surprise me if this information wasn't writ in Holy Scriptures. :yes: :clap:
Sir William Chairman :tophat:

User avatar
Runaway
Publicity Executive & Recruitment Ambassador
Posts: 6099
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 12:01 am
Has told off: 274 times
Been told off: 302 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:20 am

Judging by the content, it was written in crayon. :thumbd:

User avatar
Sir William
Dearly Beloved Chairman
Posts: 6360
Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
Has told off: 469 times
Been told off: 258 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Tue Jul 03, 2018 11:38 am

Methinks thou protesteth too much about this anti-jolly topic.

I wonder why? :cripes: :hurry: :wag: :o
Sir William Chairman :tophat:

User avatar
Runaway
Publicity Executive & Recruitment Ambassador
Posts: 6099
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 12:01 am
Has told off: 274 times
Been told off: 302 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Tue Jul 03, 2018 11:49 am

It's a portion...erm...explicit for my taste. Visitors might think we were all brought more elevated in the gutter... :cripes:

User avatar
Sir William
Dearly Beloved Chairman
Posts: 6360
Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
Has told off: 469 times
Been told off: 258 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:47 pm

What do you mean?

Do you mean you're a prude? :?

There is no gutter language at all in Mr Monste*rbot's post*. Just correct and forthright anatomical discussion. :yes:

He read it in the Bible. :clap:

* Except perhaps, 'arse'. :oops:
Sir William Chairman :tophat:

User avatar
anepictree
Prizemaster
Posts: 1955
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:26 pm
Has told off: 32 times
Been told off: 214 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by anepictree » Tue Jul 10, 2018 11:21 pm

I went to church as a little lad and never ever came across 'mind blowing ejaculation' in the Bible,

(although I did in the vestry :ho: :wink: :wave: thank you Gloria Hasslit ) :yabba:

User avatar
Sir William
Dearly Beloved Chairman
Posts: 6360
Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
Has told off: 469 times
Been told off: 258 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Wed Jul 11, 2018 12:54 am

:o
Sir William Chairman :tophat:

User avatar
Runaway
Publicity Executive & Recruitment Ambassador
Posts: 6099
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 12:01 am
Has told off: 274 times
Been told off: 302 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:30 am

So when did you first come across Gloria Hasslit?

User avatar
anepictree
Prizemaster
Posts: 1955
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 11:26 pm
Has told off: 32 times
Been told off: 214 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by anepictree » Mon Jul 23, 2018 11:12 pm

At the moment I found she Hasslit :snigger:

User avatar
Sir William
Dearly Beloved Chairman
Posts: 6360
Joined: Sun Jul 16, 2017 1:39 pm
Has told off: 469 times
Been told off: 258 times

Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Mon Jul 23, 2018 11:58 pm

:thumbd:
Sir William Chairman :tophat:

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest