Top Tips Topic

[Runaway]

But you've not even started the engine in those eight months.

[Sir William]

What does that have of to do with the matter?

[Runaway]

Everything and nothing.

[Sir William]

During this hot weather, what is the best method of preventing teenage girls from taking their bras off in public and letting their breasts swing free.

I am sure members will agree that we do not want this type of disgraceful display in public.

[Prizemaster]

I am unable to advise on this matter without first seeing photographic evidence. I discover the situation intolerable
and unbelievable to the extent that only full scale colour pictures will satisfy my desire for the truth

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

I shall arrange for the Prizemaster to be sent a copy of Tits & Bums Weekly (A Weekly Look at Church Architecture).

[Sir William]

This will be no good unless it contains photographs of the latest tits and bums.

The latest issue I had only displayed photographs from the late Baroque period.

[Sir William]

Keep babies cool during the heatwave by grabbing their legs and swinging them round and round your head in a circular fashioned.

PS: It's best to gett*en the parent's permission first.

[Runaway]

Does this also w**k with juvenile deliquents and left wing scum?

[Sir William]

Save on c*ock batteries by moving the hands on manually every minute.

[Runaway]

I don’t need batteries. V2 moves her hands on me regularly.

[Sir William]

What do you mean?

[Prizemaster]

He means he's progressed from having to move hands on himself manually but has one of his V's to do it for him

[Sir William]

He's lucky to have of any Vs.

All mine were utilised more elevated years ago, and the rest were stretched beyond economic repair.

[Runaway]

Did they have of teeth?

[Sir William]

[Runaway]

Some v belts have of teeth...

[Sir William]

[Prizemaster]

Mr RunAway has been reading too much Mr Freud

[Runaway]

This may be so. But it was long ago, in a far-off land, where the utilise of squidge was completely banned....