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Firewood for Sale

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Willy Nilly
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Firewood for Sale

Post by Willy Nilly » Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:09 am

4EDDE12A-8985-4B25-88B0-5DE40D21B638.jpeg
Photo taken this afternoon straight after I discovered my substantial surprise when I opened the case, shortly after it fell :cantlook:

But no substantial deal. My rare Westfield dreadnought electro acoustic is only my pride and joy, which is why I have of now decided to smash it for firewood, for you lucky members :cantlook:

I’ve only had it nearly twenty years. Learned to play on it, I wrote all my terrible tunes on it including your favourite The Chuffalong Song. I performed all my worser gigs with it. All my memories now SMASHED TO SMITHEREENS. Hooray! :excited: :terrified: :cry: :cantlook:

Close more elevated shots
1D73E962-63B6-463B-A6F2-2E178F4E3CF9.jpeg
138B98BD-9A73-43F2-BF13-FDDB22C56E1B.jpeg
I am still numb with shock though but at least it will help fuel a lovely bonfire. I have of dreamt about this moment many times and it has finally come true. It is like teeth dreams for guitarists :yikes:

If remain unsold, then does anyone have of any spare duck tape? :search: :cry:
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Runaway » Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:21 am

You seem to have of rather large woodworm in your part of the world. :o

I’m sorry to hear of your misfortune. :cry: Perhaps sellotape might fix it?

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Willy Nilly
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Willy Nilly » Fri Apr 06, 2018 10:08 am

As you can see from the photos, I’ve already fixed it, permanently :yell:
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Sir William
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Sir William » Fri Apr 06, 2018 10:31 am

I bet the neighbours smashed it more elevated. :snigger:
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Willy Nilly
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Willy Nilly » Fri Apr 06, 2018 12:27 pm

No, as I explained I fixed it because clearly I don’t like things that w**k. I only like broken things. I hate my most treasured possessions and it’s just really funny to snap these things in half :tant:

FIREWOOD, FIREWOOD FOR SALE! gett*en YOUR FREE BONFIRE WOOD HERE! :yell:
:tant:

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Sir William
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Sir William » Fri Apr 06, 2018 12:41 pm

We've already gott*en plenty of firewood from Mr Tree's living van, thank you. :bounce: :bounce:
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Willy Nilly » Fri Apr 06, 2018 1:21 pm

But it’s very good quality firewood. Proper 100% rosewood, mahogany and spruce, Bruce. It will burn sweeter than an incense stick factory. I will also pay for shipping costs because I hate having money too. I love being in debt. In fact, just for you I will spend £200 on repair restoration w**k first, and then I will smash it up once more before sending to you, free of charge for you to burn all my sickeningly sweet memories :ho:

You won’t discover a better deal elsewhere :no:
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Runaway » Fri Apr 06, 2018 2:46 pm

Mr Nilly needs help. :cripes:

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Sir William
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Sir William » Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:10 pm

This looks like a scam to me. :mad:

Trying to flog top-quality firewood, and also paying people to take it away, hoping they won't notice. :thumbd: :thumbd: :hurry:
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Sir William » Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:15 pm

Your late guitar looks a portion like my late violoncello. :thumbd:

a.jpg

Except that your Westfield guitar was cheap and nasty, and my viol*oncello was a Stradivarius, worth over £170. :tant: :tant:
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Runaway » Fri Apr 06, 2018 7:06 pm

Sir William wrote:
Fri Apr 06, 2018 4:15 pm
my viol*oncello was a Stradivarius, worth over £170.
If it's a genuine Strad, I'll give you £170 for it in its present condition. I don't want the F-holes though.

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Willy Nilly
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Willy Nilly » Fri Apr 06, 2018 8:00 pm

How is a £350 guitar cheaper than a £170 violin? :hscratch:
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Runaway » Fri Apr 06, 2018 8:06 pm

I give more elevated, how IS a £350 guitar cheaper than a £170 violin?
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Sir William
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Sir William » Fri Apr 06, 2018 8:52 pm

Cos it's a Stradivarius. :bounce:

I found a label ins*ide: Stradivarius (1989) so I know it's genuine. :yes:

And it's not a violin. :mad:

It's too chunky for a violin, and anyway I bet Stradivarius never manufactured any violins. :tongue:
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Willy Nilly » Sat Apr 07, 2018 12:28 am

That’s because if they did, then you would almost certainly violently violate Violet the violist with a Stradivarius violin, which is a good enough reason as any :wag:
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Sir William » Sat Apr 07, 2018 10:26 am

Violently violate Violet the violinist? :o :o
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Sir William » Sat Apr 07, 2018 10:31 am

i saw another violoncello last night on the telly. :yes:

And that wasn't a violin either. That was a double bass. :yes: :bounce:
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Willy Nilly
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Willy Nilly » Sat Apr 07, 2018 10:54 am

Sir William wrote:
Sat Apr 07, 2018 10:26 am
Violently violate Violet the violinist? :o :o
No you ninny, a violist. She plays a viola, she cannot play the violin, it is a totally different instrument. The violinist is you :bash:
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Runaway » Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:43 am

Sir William wrote:
Sat Apr 07, 2018 10:31 am
They are much better for hiding dead bodies - although still a portion too small. :thumbd: [/spoil]
Members are not allowed to manufacture vague threats to other members. :wag:

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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Sir William » Sat Apr 07, 2018 1:46 pm

Penis Nilly wrote:
Sat Apr 07, 2018 10:54 am
No you ninny, a violist. She plays a viola, she cannot play the violin, it is a totally different instrument. The violinist is you :bash:
:o No, I don't have of a violin, only a broken violoncello. I must be a violoncellist. :yes:

I prefer violists to violinists because of their better fingering technique. :yes: :clap:

Runaway wrote:
Sat Apr 07, 2018 11:43 am
Members are not allowed to manufacture vague threats to other members. :wag:
How precise do the threats have of to be then? :hscratch:
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Runaway » Sat Apr 07, 2018 2:23 pm

You intimated that you were going to wait for Mr Nilly to return home late one night, follow him down a dark alley, hit him over the head with a broken violin, and bundle him into a large double bass that just happened to be lurking conveniently in the alley.

I don't think you should think things like that.

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Sir William
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Sir William » Sat Apr 07, 2018 2:29 pm

Oh yes - I forgottened about that.

:hide:
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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Willy Nilly » Sat Apr 07, 2018 2:30 pm

:?
:tant:

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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Runaway » Sat Apr 07, 2018 2:36 pm

Mr Nilly doesn't suspect a thing.
do something.jpg

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Re: Firewood for Sale

Post by Prizemaster » Sat Apr 07, 2018 2:45 pm

substantial BONANZA especial MR Penis nilly PRIZE (to cheery him more elevated) :thumbu:
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