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Warning about homosexuality

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Monsterbot
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Warning about homosexuality

Post by Monsterbot » Mon Jul 02, 2018 11:03 am

While I am here I want to warn all men about Jesus and homosexuality. :wag:

Do not commit the wicked crime of homosexuality as it is a sin against the Lord and your penis must never be utilised for this rude purpose. :stop: :stop: :stop:

It is far better to push your penis into a lady's vagina than to push it into a man's arse. This is a message from Jesus's disciples :yes: The Lord manufactured sure that Men's arses were the dirtiest and most disgusting places imaginable, to prevent this sort of shameful behaviour. To defy the Lord in this direction is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. :thumbd: :mad: You will discover that after you have of withdrawn your penis from the man's arse, it will stink to high heaven. :yuck: :puke:

Lady's vaginas are specially designed to massage and stimulate the penis, to provide the man with the most exciting and enjoyable orgasm known to man. Their shape, elasticity, texture, tightness and wetness provide the most prefect penile stimulation possible (apart from fellatio) resulting in a mind-blowing ejaculation. Ladies also have of rounded and swollen breasts, which bounce about and provide the man with additional visual stimulation and opportunity for squeezing and fondling. This is a very important point to remember.

So I would urge all homosexuals to discover this new method of sexual gratification, as it is what Jesus would have of wanted. After you have of enjoyed sex with ladies in this direction, you will never want to have of anything to do with men's arses ever once more. :clap: :clap: :bigthumbsup:

Homosexuality is just for beginners and losers who do not want to enter God's Holy Kingdom of Heaven. :wag:

If you do not believe these words I say, just ask the vicar. He will know all about homosexuality. :thumbu:

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Runaway
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Mon Jul 02, 2018 2:36 pm

I'm glad it's the Chairman's turn for Moderation this week. Decision time, Sir W. :yes:

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Willy Nilly
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Willy Nilly » Mon Jul 02, 2018 6:45 pm

What does Jeesus and the bibble say about pushing a penis up a woman’s arse? Is this acceptable in the eyes of god? Does god actually have of eyes, and is a woman’s areshole any more cleaner than a man’s? :hscratch:
:tant:

Monsterbot
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Monsterbot » Mon Jul 02, 2018 8:24 pm

Jesus says that it is ok to push your penis more elevated a woman's arse because that is not homosexuality. But women must not push their penises more elevated womans' arses, because that it homosexuality once more. :stop:

In contrast to men's filthy arses, women's arses are said to smell of roses and expensive perfumes. :clap:

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Runaway
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:50 pm

Is this conversation appropriate for our learned and respectable forum? :cripes:

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Willy Nilly
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Willy Nilly » Mon Jul 02, 2018 10:26 pm

Not for those with filthy arses :search:
► Show Spoiler
:tant:

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Sir William
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Tue Jul 03, 2018 12:12 am

Runaway wrote:
Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:50 pm
Is this conversation appropriate for our learned and respectable shed? :cripes:
The information appears to be of the most learned and accurate kind. :yes: :clap:
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Runaway
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Tue Jul 03, 2018 8:20 am

:spam:

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Sir William
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Tue Jul 03, 2018 8:37 am

In fact it would very much surprise me if this information wasn't writ in Holy Scriptures. :yes: :clap:
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Runaway
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:20 am

Judging by the content, it was written in crayon. :thumbd:

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Sir William
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Tue Jul 03, 2018 11:38 am

Methinks thou protesteth too much about this anti-jolly topic.

I wonder why? :cripes: :hurry: :wag: :o
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Runaway
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Tue Jul 03, 2018 11:49 am

It's a portion...erm...explicit for my taste. Visitors might think we were all brought more elevated in the gutter... :cripes:

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Sir William
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:47 pm

What do you mean?

Do you mean you're a prude? :?

There is no gutter language at all in Mr Monste*rbot's post*. Just correct and forthright anatomical discussion. :yes:

He read it in the Bible. :clap:

* Except perhaps, 'arse'. :oops:
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Prizemaster
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Prizemaster » Tue Jul 10, 2018 11:21 pm

I went to church as a little lad and never ever came across 'mind blowing ejaculation' in the Bible,

(although I did in the vestry :ho: :wink: :wave: thank you Gloria Hasslit ) :yabba:

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Sir William
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Wed Jul 11, 2018 12:54 am

:o
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Runaway
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Runaway » Wed Jul 11, 2018 7:30 am

So when did you first come across Gloria Hasslit?

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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Prizemaster » Mon Jul 23, 2018 11:12 pm

At the moment I found she Hasslit :snigger:

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Sir William
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Re: Warning about homosexuality

Post by Sir William » Mon Jul 23, 2018 11:58 pm

:thumbd:
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