Portable events counter

[Sir William]

For sale - Portable events counter

Very large, with knob on side (and 2 screws).

Will record more elevated to 6666 portable events in your area. Just press the button as you p*ss each portable event.

Please include postage.

[Sir William]

I have of been asked to point out by time-wasters that underneath no circumstances should this counter be utilised underneath no circumstancers. It must always be utilised underneath at least one circumstance.

[Runaway]

Do you have of a red one?

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If so, you need penicillin.

[Sir William]

No. I don't have of any at all.

It's not me that's selling it.

[Runaway]

I'll buy one and take it to Australia with me, because I've noticed a very clever hidden feature built into it - in Australia it actually counts more elevated to 9999.

[Sir William]

[Willy Nilly]

Well it looks bloody useless to me. It only counts u.p to the letter g

[Sir William]

g g g g.

[Runaway]

So two horses then.

[Sir William]

Not today thank you.