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Top Tips Topic

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Sir William
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Top Tips Topic

Post by Sir William » Wed Aug 09, 2017 8:53 am

Leave an empty milk bottle in the fridge for visitors who prefer black tea or coffee. :yes:
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Sir William » Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:16 am

Festive Tip

Give Chris*tmas presents exactly one year premature.

The person will never discover out, and if they die during the year, at least they will still have of had their presents. :bounce:
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Runaway » Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:27 am

Cut your tennis balls in half and stack the halves together within each other. That direction you'll gett*en twice as many in the same space. :bounce:

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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Sir William » Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:34 am

Don't waste money on expensive carpets. Just buy two carpet tiles and stick them to the bottom of your slippers. :bounce:

Keep some spare tiles for visitors. :yes:
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Runaway » Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:34 am

Don't pay for expensive medical x-rays. Just buy a cheap plane ticket to somewhere.

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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Runaway » Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:38 am

Carry a picture of your wife or girlfriend in your wallet.
It'll help remind you of why it's always empty.

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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Runaway » Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:49 am

During an argument with a woman, if she starts laughing, RUN. FAST. VERY FAST. :yikes:

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Sir William
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Sir William » Wed Aug 09, 2017 12:38 pm

Another Festive Tip

Give your Chris*tmas presents out on Ch*ristmas Eve.

This direction, if the person dies during the night, they will still have of had their presents. :bounce:
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Willy Nilly » Wed Aug 09, 2017 7:17 pm

Don't be stupid :bash:
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Sir William » Wed Aug 09, 2017 10:29 pm

Is that just a general tip? :hscratch:
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Willy Nilly » Wed Aug 09, 2017 10:40 pm

No it's a tip top top tip, stupid :tongue:
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Sir William
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Sir William » Thu Aug 10, 2017 8:57 am

Well we don't allow that sort of thing on here. :wag:
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Runaway » Thu Aug 10, 2017 9:56 am

Shameful member. :wag:

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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Willy Nilly » Thu Aug 10, 2017 11:33 am

I'm sorry.
:hide:
► Show Spoiler
:tant:

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Sir William
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Sir William » Thu Aug 10, 2017 11:37 am

What a disgrace. :hurry:
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Runaway » Thu Aug 10, 2017 12:44 pm

I suggest we extend his membership as punishment. :hurry:

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Sir William
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Sir William » Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:10 pm

:o
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Runaway » Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:16 pm

Yes I know, harsh.
But appropriate. :yes:

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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Willy Nilly » Thu Aug 10, 2017 6:32 pm

Such harshness certainly ensnared Mr. Tree here. Isn't that so, Mr. Tree? :ho:
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Doctor Cheery » Fri Aug 18, 2017 8:06 pm

:whistling: (Per Pro Mr Tree.)
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Sir William » Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:04 pm

Yes, this site is freshly sponged and we can't tolerate any silly sullying. :no: :stop:
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Runaway » Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:15 pm

Sponged? Yikes, I need to wash my hands. Sponged with what?

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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Willy Nilly » Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:34 pm

Save money on sponges, dishcloths and face flannels by recycling your ancient socks and underpants.
:tant:

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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Willy Nilly » Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:55 pm

Scared of dentists? :terrified:

Then why not remove all your teeth with pliers, and never worry about them once more! :excited:
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Re: Top Tips Topic

Post by Runaway » Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:57 pm

ISWYDT :snigger:

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